My name is Brenda. When I began this program, I was controlled by anxiety, fear, and depression. I did not think there was any future for me other than living on a disabilty pension for the rest of my life and taking copious amounts of psychotropic drugs each day to get me through without attempting suicide. In my own eyes, I was an inept failure, having been diagnosed with major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, social phobia, and borderline personality disorder.
Today, with the help of my mentor and the teachings in this course, and having completed The Cross-Centered Mind, I am a different person. No longer do I view myself as inadequate and inept, but instead, capable of doing whatever the Lord calls me to do in His strength. I do not fear each day and approach it with intense anxiety, waiting for the next thing that is going to overwhelm me. Now I get up early each morning, excited to turn to the Lord Jesus to pray and read His written Word, the Bible. There is nothing about my past that leads me to fear that others will find out who I am, whereas, prior to taking this course, I thought I was a shameful person who had to hide myself away to avoid being humiliated in the presence of others who were capable and adequate to cope with life. What I have learned through the Cross-Centered Mind has led me to a place in which I look forward to every moment of my life with excitement and joy and peace. I know that I do not need psychotropic drugs to get me through my days; Jesus is the One I depend on for my Source of strength, hope, and a positive outlook about my present and my future. I realize that I was throwing my life away by living dependent on psychotropic drugs and counselling appointments to get from month to month. Now I want to live clear-headed so I do not miss a single thing that God has for me! Jesus has shown me, through this course, that I am forgiven of all my sins, past, present, and future; no longer do I need to live in shame; no longer do I need to punish myself for bad behaviour; no longer do I have to live despairing of the stress of every day that was just too much for me to handle. Now I know that I have a Saviour and Lord, Jesus Christ, who died so that I can live abundantly every moment of every day, and I can do so free from guilt, shame, and condemnation all because He paid the penalty for my sins. Today, it is not I who live, but Jesus who lives in and through me. The old me is gone, and the new me is here to stay! I have no reason to look back, but many reasons to look forward to a bright future that the Lord promises me He has planned out for me. I will make mistakes, but I can allow Jesus to take me by the hand and help me to my feet as I receive His forgiveness and also forgive myself. In addition, I have learned how to forgive others, no longer holding their mistakes against them. Not only am I free from the grip of fear, anxiety and depression; I am free to relate to others in a healthy, genuinely loving way that I did not know before, confident that I can be a whole and vibrant part of any giving relationship. What a breath of fresh air to know that I am worthy because of what Jesus did for me - because of His sacrifice that paid for my sin - and to no longer look upon myself with hatred and loathing and shame! I am so grateful to Setting Captives Free and The Cross-Centered Life.
It is my desire from this point onward to give back in any way that I can to the Lord and to Setting Captives Free for all they have given to me! I no longer want to live a selfish, sinful life, but one focused on the Lord Jesus and shining His Light into the darkness so that others can discover the freedom that I know today. Although I am not completely off of psychotropic drugs, I continue my withdrawal in a healthy, responsible manner, and I am committed to doing so until I am totally free of the last one! Amen! I just want to say a great big "Thank you" to my Lord Jesus Christ, my mentor, Setting Captives Free, and The Cross-Centered Life for all you have done and continue to do in my life. For I know I will carry what I have learned into my future, and my changed life will be the true testimony.
